why is this happening to me?

What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? I never wanted to have another life before so I would I have to want it now? I don't know what the hell's going on with me, but I know that I'm not good with this. I wanna change it. I must change it. I feel so misplaced that sometimes I can't even think straight. It seems like everything I do or try to do goes wrong. It just doesn't work. (...) I wanted to know the world. I still do, even more now. I just need it. But it feels like it was impossible to happen. It's like a dream that will never come true, don't matter how hard I push myself to it. 

I wanted to have another body, which would fit in any outfit I put on and I would be beautiful on it. I wanted to have more money then, to buy prettiest clothes. 

Yeah, they say ''Money doesn't matter. It doesn't bring happiness'' and stuff, but at the moment, I feel like my life would be pretty easier if I had lots of this thin.  

And yes, this post is a little confused, but I know what it means, so... I wrote it for myself anyway. I know nobody reads this.